The Happiest Street in America!

As seen in Iowa City, Iowa

A Tasty Treat Gone Terribly, Terribly Wrong

I'm clearing up my backlog of "WTF Bad Marketing Ideas" entries. The source of this one - the local Korean grocery store, of course. But I've also seen this, well, stuff, at my local Hyvee as well, in some way, shape or form.

Was this really necessary? I mean, if you're that concerned about diet and such, should you even have pudding on your menu to begin with?

Why is my coffee forming a slurry?

You've got to wonder what happened to the first person to discover this jar was mislabeled.

"You'll Eat It and You'll Like It!"

Matt and I were on on our way back from the butt-crunching bike ride weekend in Cedar Rapids when I passed this restaurant in Walford, Iowa (population 1425).

Now how many times did I hear this as a child - "You'll eat it and you'll like it"? That would be me and split peas. Katie and broccoli. Mary Jane and tomatoes. I think I heard this at least five times a week growing up.

My conclusion - this is what would happen if your Mom decided to open a restaurant. I bet the menu has split peas, broccoli, tomatoes, liver, and navy bean soup.

Bad Marketing Ideas - Just the Thing For That Notre Dame Grad in Your Family

I ran across this will doing some research on a monastery in Iowa. I'm amazed.

Notre Dame Caskets and Urns

Trappist Caskets, in partnership with the University of Notre Dame, now offers an exclusive line of custom-designed caskets and urns for Notre Dame alumni and their families.

As a work of the monks of New Melleray Abbey, Trappist Caskets are built on a long tradition that combines a reverence for nature with a preference for old-world craftsmanship. available, much of it coming from the monastery’s own award-winning forest.

All caskets, urns, and register books come with an engraved seal authorized by the University of Notre Dame. Included in the purchase of a casket or urn is a complimentary Guest Register Book and four family keepsake crosses. These keepsake crosses are in addition to the removable cross that comes on the lid of each casket and urn.

Book List Entry - "In Search of the World's Worst Writers"

I now can't recall where exactly I picked up a copy of Nick Page's In Search of the World's Worst Writers (London: Harper Collins,2000). But, oh, am I glad I did. Subtitled "A Celebration of Truimphantly Bad Literature", the book is a collection of short essays describing authors considered by Page to be among the worst ever to been published, culminating with the inimitable Amanda McKittrick Ros (pictured), considered by many as the worst published author ever (or, at the least, the worst abuser of alliteration). How good was this book? Tom's tip - don't read it in public. I laughed out loud reading parts of it, which is kinda frowned upon on Amtrak. Apparently, they have a low threshhold for loony behavior (unlike Greyhound, which is still a rolling freak show).

I would like to add a few quotes from Page's book here, but I don't know how he feels about such things. I've emailed him for permission.

One key element of a great book (like In Search of the World's Worst Writers) is when it inspires you to find out more. After laughing out loud reading Page's essay on Amanda McKittrick Ros, I found out a couple of pretty hilarious factoids:

First, she was considered so bad a writer that "she became the fad of the moment for the London literary crew, who threw Amanda McKittrick Ros parties at which they would take it in turns to recite favourite passages", and

Second, "The Oxford literary group the Inklings, which included such luminaries as C. S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien, held competitions to see who could read Ros' work for the longest length of time while keeping a straight face". Whoever laughed first, lost.

My one quibble with Page's list: he only gave Timothy Dexter two stars (on a one-to-five scale) for literary awfulness. I would have given him a couple more, for one very simple reason. "Lord" Timothy Dexter was so bad, he made other writers suck. I've read all of John P. Marquand's books, and Lord Timothy Dexter, which, ironically, was Marquand's first "biggie" that put him on the road to fame, is the only one that I found, in my humble opinion, practically unreadable. So Little Time it's not. Perhaps it just didn't age well.

As for Amanda, rare copies of her works are still around. Alibris.com is currently selling A.A. Milne's first addition of Delina Delaney for $651, and Abebooks has a first edition of Irene Iddlesleigh with a signed letter from McKittick Ros (ZOINKS!) for $251. Ah, for a bit of spare cash to splurge.

As for my copy of In Search of the World's Worst Writers, it's too good to keep to myself. I'll probably send mine on to Katie. For anyone else, it's worth finding, buying, and reading. Your darting orbs will become lachrymal lakes of laughter.