The Not Enough Time Reading List - "Aaronsohn's Maps"

"Aaronsohn's Maps: The Untold Story of the Man Who Might Have Created Peace in the Middle East" by Patricia Goldstone.

This might take a while. And a few entries.

OK - I'll cut to the chase. Aaron Aaronsohn died in a plane crash from Britain en route to the to the post-WWI Paris talks in 1919. Goldstone does a lot more than hint - in fact, she pretty much slaps you in the face - with the outrageous theory that Zionist leader Chaim Weizmann and the British Government conspired to assassinate Aaronsohn by having a airborne British military assassination team kill Aaronsohn and his British military pilot (a known hero for having recently beat the London-Paris speed record with T.E Lawrence in tow). By somehow shooting the pilot mid-flight, from another 1918-era biplane, without a machine gun (which might have attracted attention, since the whole drama played out directly over a an English coastal sea town).

Goldstone's theory apparently, is that Chaim Weizmann convinced the British government to assassinate Aaronsohn (her proof - Felix Frankfurter's comment years later that there was "blood" on Aaronsohn's death somehow). So they arranged to have Aaronsohn go up in a plane. With a well known British military hero as his pilot. And convinced other British military pilots to kill him. By shooting him not with a machine gun. No, but by somehow shooting him with a pistol or rifle shot from a second 1918s-era biplane flying at 75 MPH over the coast of England. Puuuhhhllease! Why not just kill Aaronsohn in a car crash? Or even yet, don't let him fly to Paris by saying the weather is bad or there are no pilots available. And don't even get me started on Goldstone's "cover-up" of the pilot's death. I could go on and on. And on. And on. And on.

Before I go for today. Early on, a great resource for the early history of Zionism and the nascent Israeli state. Fairly good factually, though many Jews and Israelis have pointed out that Goldstone is pretty flippant with her history and understanding of historical Judaism.

Oh, by the way. Everything in the Middle East between Israel and the Arabs could have been cured by Aaronsohn's ideas on shared water rights and river usage. That Arabs hate Jews, and Jews in the Middle East haven't historically make politics any easier for themselves - not a factor. Yeah.

OK. To be continued later. I'm all verklumppt. Talk amongst yourselves.

Book List Entry - "In Search of the World's Worst Writers"

I now can't recall where exactly I picked up a copy of Nick Page's In Search of the World's Worst Writers (London: Harper Collins,2000). But, oh, am I glad I did. Subtitled "A Celebration of Truimphantly Bad Literature", the book is a collection of short essays describing authors considered by Page to be among the worst ever to been published, culminating with the inimitable Amanda McKittrick Ros (pictured), considered by many as the worst published author ever (or, at the least, the worst abuser of alliteration). How good was this book? Tom's tip - don't read it in public. I laughed out loud reading parts of it, which is kinda frowned upon on Amtrak. Apparently, they have a low threshhold for loony behavior (unlike Greyhound, which is still a rolling freak show).

I would like to add a few quotes from Page's book here, but I don't know how he feels about such things. I've emailed him for permission.

One key element of a great book (like In Search of the World's Worst Writers) is when it inspires you to find out more. After laughing out loud reading Page's essay on Amanda McKittrick Ros, I found out a couple of pretty hilarious factoids:

First, she was considered so bad a writer that "she became the fad of the moment for the London literary crew, who threw Amanda McKittrick Ros parties at which they would take it in turns to recite favourite passages", and

Second, "The Oxford literary group the Inklings, which included such luminaries as C. S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien, held competitions to see who could read Ros' work for the longest length of time while keeping a straight face". Whoever laughed first, lost.

My one quibble with Page's list: he only gave Timothy Dexter two stars (on a one-to-five scale) for literary awfulness. I would have given him a couple more, for one very simple reason. "Lord" Timothy Dexter was so bad, he made other writers suck. I've read all of John P. Marquand's books, and Lord Timothy Dexter, which, ironically, was Marquand's first "biggie" that put him on the road to fame, is the only one that I found, in my humble opinion, practically unreadable. So Little Time it's not. Perhaps it just didn't age well.

As for Amanda, rare copies of her works are still around. Alibris.com is currently selling A.A. Milne's first addition of Delina Delaney for $651, and Abebooks has a first edition of Irene Iddlesleigh with a signed letter from McKittick Ros (ZOINKS!) for $251. Ah, for a bit of spare cash to splurge.

As for my copy of In Search of the World's Worst Writers, it's too good to keep to myself. I'll probably send mine on to Katie. For anyone else, it's worth finding, buying, and reading. Your darting orbs will become lachrymal lakes of laughter.