The Correct Answer to "Hey, What Happened To My Plant"?

Nicky meets the house plant. Rabbit 1. Houseplant 0.

A Tasty Treat Gone Terribly, Terribly Wrong

I'm clearing up my backlog of "WTF Bad Marketing Ideas" entries. The source of this one - the local Korean grocery store, of course. But I've also seen this, well, stuff, at my local Hyvee as well, in some way, shape or form.

Was this really necessary? I mean, if you're that concerned about diet and such, should you even have pudding on your menu to begin with?

Why is my coffee forming a slurry?

You've got to wonder what happened to the first person to discover this jar was mislabeled.

"You'll Eat It and You'll Like It!"

Matt and I were on on our way back from the butt-crunching bike ride weekend in Cedar Rapids when I passed this restaurant in Walford, Iowa (population 1425).

Now how many times did I hear this as a child - "You'll eat it and you'll like it"? That would be me and split peas. Katie and broccoli. Mary Jane and tomatoes. I think I heard this at least five times a week growing up.

My conclusion - this is what would happen if your Mom decided to open a restaurant. I bet the menu has split peas, broccoli, tomatoes, liver, and navy bean soup.

Novel Business Idea - Kansas

This was on NPR today. I have been to Preston. It is a typically sad, dying rural Kansas town. But it was this part of the article that caught my eye:

"...he bought the run-down bar and grill on Main Street to turn it into a mortuary and crematorium ."

I'm thinking, hey - what a unique marketing idea. Not a former bar and grill turned into a mortuary and crematorium, but rather - here ya go - a COMBINATION bar and grill and mortuary and crematorium! Imagine the possibilities.

Undertaker Hopes To Revive Kansas Town
by Carla Eckels

December 8, 2009

Ken Stanton and his family are renovating a building on Main Street in Preston, Kan., that will become the Heartland Funeral Home and Crematory.

Many small towns across rural America continue to see population declines as the farming generation dwindles and the younger generation moves to bigger cities. But one small western Kansas town is getting help from an unlikely source: an Arizona undertaker who plans to revive the dying town by catering to the dead.

'Everyone Got Quite Excited'

The tiny town of Preston, Kan., once boasted a very active Main Street with two grocery stores, a post office, a cafe, a drug store and a filling station. But now they are gone — along with the town's high school and church. In fact, only 170 people live here. Boarded-up buildings line either side of Main Street. A City Hall and senior center remain within view of two towering grain elevators.

Ken Stanton plans to change much of that. The 53-year-old mortician with a warm and easy smile has been in the funeral business for 18 years. He is no stranger to Preston. For 35 years, he and his wife, Donna, have come here to visit relatives. Donna Stanton's father dreamed of a revitalized Preston, and Ken Stanton embraced that dream.

"I saw this little town, and I saw some pictures of it back in the early 1900s and saw what it was, and believed that this town could thrive again," he says.

So a year ago, he bought the run-down bar and grill on Main Street to turn it into a mortuary and crematorium. On a recent day, Stanton and brother-in-law Mike Saldan are surveying the gutted 94-year-old brick building. The goal is to complete construction and open the facility by January.

Mayor Wayne Scott, a student in the last graduating class of Preston High School — in 1966 — acknowledges that news of an undertaker investing big time in Preston was at first met with some skepticism.

But Scott says that changed after Stanton attended a City Council meeting and started requesting permits and acquiring properties around town, including on Main Street. "We realized that it could possibly be a reality for us, and then I think everyone got quite excited," Scott says.

A Family Affair

Donna Stanton plans to work alongside her husband in the mortuary and support her son's new business: a 1950s-style restaurant to be built down the street. It's not just Ken and Donna Stanton coming here — it's more than 30 family members and friends.

"My sister from South Carolina is coming in with her husband, and she'll be staying out here; and my other sister came with me; and then, of course, my brother-in-law and my other sister is in Phoenix, so they'll end up here," Donna Stanton says.

Although some Preston residents are welcoming them here, Ken Stanton says others aren't so sure.

"I think there's a group of people that are kind of wondering, 'What are these people trying to do — come in and take over the whole place?' " he says.

Mike Snell, the longtime branch manager of the Cairo Co-Op in Preston, says he hopes the Stanton clan can jump-start the town.

"The city of Preston is just about a dead town," Snell says. "We got the co-op here and a local meat plant, and there's just not a whole lot going on in the town anymore."

Although Preston is tiny, Stanton plans to draw funeral business from a 50-mile radius. He also wants to encourage others to give small towns a second look.

"Metropolitan communities are getting so packed with people," he says. "So many people are out of work. People are starting to gravitate farther out, where housing and things are a little bit less expensive. So I think there's an opportunity for growth and things to happen in small communities and small towns, if people will just be willing to be ready for some change."

And whether Preston lives or dies may rest in part on the success of the funeral business

So They Aren't All Great - Chicago Confidential

So, OK, not every reading choice is a winner. At an estate sale, I picked up a copy of Chicago Confidential by Jack Lait and Lee Mortimer. Published in 1950, the book is now exactly 59 years out of date. Lait and Mortimer were two New York newspapermen who had previously made their mark with, not surprisingly, New York Confidential. They followed up the NYC book with a sequel on Chicago. Despite trying to hype some Chicago roots, it's obvious early on that they see most things through a New York lens.

So what were these "Confidential" books (there was later a USA Confidential)? Basically, they were trips through the seedy parts of town, which probably was pretty risque by 1950 standards. They were even made into really bad movies, but seeing how none of these movies have seen the light of day on video, AMC, or TCM, I'm guessing they were pretty horrible. From this book, we learn:

- The "Taj Mahal" of Chicago brothels was the Everleigh Club, at 2131/2133 South Dearborn.

- Heroin costs $1.50 per capsule; marijuana joints cost 3 for $1.00.

- There are many ethnic minority communities in Chicago, but - amazingly - Lait and Mortimer never found the Irish neighborhoods, either on the North or South sides. Really. No, really. Oh, come on! Kinda an obvious oversight.

- There are dolls, dames, show gals, strippers, b-girls, and hookers. Lots and lots of hookers.

- Burlesque was very big. There were three classes of strippers - "fan-dancers", "grinders", and "talking women". There was also a difference between "nude" and "naked". No, really.

- In 1950, in addition to the Cubs and Sox, the All American Girls Professional Baseball League (from A League of Their Own fame) still played in Chicago - at the Admiral Stadium, on the West Side. For you trivia buffs, the league lived on quite well past the end of World War II and didn't fold until 1954 (see additional Chicago link below).

- Bughouse Square (Washington Square, at North Clark and Walton) - a "haunt of homos, pinkos, nature lovers, and nuts... soap boxers and prosties". No, really, it says that.

Unfortunately, a book about 1950's Chicago, with mainly Loop addresses, is a severe Google Maps disappointment. Check an address, and it's now a 1970s cinder block post office or a vacant lot. But it does have a taste of what was important in the 1950s, and unfortunately, is pretty much lost today, like backstage phone numbers, names of the headwaiters of the best restaurants (including the Palmer House, Pump Room, and the Drake), and a list of restaurants and bars. I would say "the best" restaurants and bars with a grain of salt, but it seems like the authors never left the Loop to eat (or at least, not further north then the 1000 block of North Clark). There's a list of strip clubs, dancing halls, and restaurants, listed by ethnic cuisine.

One reason I bought the book was to do a bit of research on a famous restaurant owned by Mike Fish. It's part of my Dining Club project. More on that later. But no mention of Mike Fish or his restaurant in the book. Too bad. I was going to pitch the book, since I don't have that much of a need for it now. Rather, I may send it off to Katie, as the restaurant list (with addresses) may be of interest to her LTHForum buddies at some time in the future.

In short, the book was worth it. For 25 cents. Hmmm.

Oh, and the photo. From the Dog N Suds in Richmond. True Chicago cuisine.

Oh, and the girls baseball thing. I don't know why the movie glossed this over, but the entire idea for the AAGPBL was the idea of, yes, Phillip K. Wrigley. Spring training for the inaugural 1943 season was played at - woohoo - Wrigley Field. Well, there ya' go.

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