Pu Yi Returns!

For the first time in a long time, I've bought some art. At least I think it is.

The Correct Answer to "Hey, What Happened To My Plant"?

Nicky meets the house plant. Rabbit 1. Houseplant 0.

A Tasty Treat Gone Terribly, Terribly Wrong

I'm clearing up my backlog of "WTF Bad Marketing Ideas" entries. The source of this one - the local Korean grocery store, of course. But I've also seen this, well, stuff, at my local Hyvee as well, in some way, shape or form.

Was this really necessary? I mean, if you're that concerned about diet and such, should you even have pudding on your menu to begin with?

Why is my coffee forming a slurry?

You've got to wonder what happened to the first person to discover this jar was mislabeled.

Theresa's Cat Meets the Spirit of Christmas

Yum-yum meets Santa. Much confusion ensued.

"You'll Eat It and You'll Like It!"

Matt and I were on on our way back from the butt-crunching bike ride weekend in Cedar Rapids when I passed this restaurant in Walford, Iowa (population 1425).

Now how many times did I hear this as a child - "You'll eat it and you'll like it"? That would be me and split peas. Katie and broccoli. Mary Jane and tomatoes. I think I heard this at least five times a week growing up.

My conclusion - this is what would happen if your Mom decided to open a restaurant. I bet the menu has split peas, broccoli, tomatoes, liver, and navy bean soup.

Bad Marketing Ideas - Just the Thing For That Notre Dame Grad in Your Family

I ran across this will doing some research on a monastery in Iowa. I'm amazed.

Notre Dame Caskets and Urns

Trappist Caskets, in partnership with the University of Notre Dame, now offers an exclusive line of custom-designed caskets and urns for Notre Dame alumni and their families.

As a work of the monks of New Melleray Abbey, Trappist Caskets are built on a long tradition that combines a reverence for nature with a preference for old-world craftsmanship. available, much of it coming from the monastery’s own award-winning forest.

All caskets, urns, and register books come with an engraved seal authorized by the University of Notre Dame. Included in the purchase of a casket or urn is a complimentary Guest Register Book and four family keepsake crosses. These keepsake crosses are in addition to the removable cross that comes on the lid of each casket and urn.

Flynnfest Rarity - Errol Meets Fidel

Originally released as "The Truth About The Fidel Castro Revolution", this strange film was rereleased at "The Cuban Story" after being lost for a couple decades. It has a rare place in the world of film. It is perhaps the worst made documentary with some of the best made documentary footage ever made.

The history of it is, well, unique. Errol was in Cuba with Beverly Aadland, his 17 year old nymphet last love interest. Among his many friends in Cuba was Victor Pahlen, who owned a movie theater in Havana. Errol and Victor happened to find themselves in Cuba during the last days of the Batista regime - front row seats to the revolution. So Pahlen grabs a movie camera and starts filming. Errol's fame gives Victor front row seats.

Errol's involvement? He does an into sequence for the first four minutes of the film. There's about two minutes of Errol and Bev at a casino about 8 minutes into it. Errol does another minute of dialogue about 18 minutes into it, and there's a bit under two minutes in a conclusion monologue. Errol's dialogue parts are filmed in what appears to be a warehouse or hangar with a desk and map of Cuba slapped up against the wall. He's in pretty bad shape. Physically he looks like crap. He either is making his lines up on the fly or off a loose script, or just can't seem to recall what he was supposed to say. He seems, well, befuddled. Errol's only other presence are two still photos showing his meeting in Fidel Castro, which no doubt would have silenced any critics who later claimed the meeting never happened.

After Errol's few minutes on film in this 50 minute "documentary", Pahlen provides voiceover to what was silent footage. His worst sin - pretending to narrate the film as if he was Flynn, at one time talking about "my friend George Raft", despite the fact that Pahlen and Flynn didn't sound remotely like each other. It also didn't help that he sucked as a film editor, using one single laugh and applause track for every scene showing clapping or laughter, regardless of the fit.

What keeps this from being just the worst documentary in history? The raw footage of Fidel and his revolutionaries in the midst of history being made. There's footage of Castro before the famous beard, combat footage, the show trials of Batista regime officials, and even footage of a firing squad and execution of a Batista security official.

History can be sad in the rear-view mirror. Flynn and Pahlen idolized Castro - something that Flynn was very open about until the day he died (not too long after this was made). Perhaps fortunately for Errol, he didn't live long enough to see Castro "come out" as an oppressive Communist dictator and what then became of his beloved Cuba. They were so wrapped up in the revolution, they were strangely approving of the mass execution of Batista officials under the Castro regime, and at times seemed to revel in it.

This was Errol's second-to-last film effort, just before the disastrous "Cuban Rebel Girls" - he's billed in this documentary as a "reporter", not an actor. For Flynn addicts, there's the raw footage of Errol with Beverly Aadland. For historians, the footage of Castro's troops in the field, the fall of Havana, and the revolution in progress is fascinating. As for Victor Pahlen - well, lets just say the world of documentary film making is none the worse for this being his solo effort in the genre.

Oh, where to find it? Youtube. Another entry by the Errol Flynn Collective. The entire film is posted in 10 minute segments. Excellent posting quality. Free. Free. Free.

Flynnfest #31 - Four's A Crowd

Another YouTube victory. Some kind soul posted the extremely rarely seen Four of A Crowd, Errol Flynn's only "screwball" comedy, from 1938. Immediately following The Adventures of Robin Hood, Four's A Crowd had both Flynn and Olivia DeHavilland in very unfamiliar comedic territory. Also costarring Patric Knowles (Will Scarlet in Robin Hood) and Rosalind Russell, as well as a surprising Carole Landis in a minor role. Carole Landis, by the way, who tragically died by suicide in 1948 by OD-ing on seconol at the age of 29, after a disappointing career in mostly minor film where she was prized for being better looking than a better actress).

So, why is Four's A Crowd rarely seen today? Well, it falls well into the "it could have been a lot better" category of Errol movies. It seems as if Warner Brothers was rushing to get their two lead stars Errol and Olivia, fresh off one of the greatest movies of the era, into a movie to cash in on the 'screwball' comedy trend. Alas, it didn't work out that well. First, it script seems rushed and sloppily written. Screwball comedies didn't necessarily need to have rock-solid logical premises, but at least the story had to flow well, as so much of the humor of the movie was a result of the timing of the dialogue (Laird Doyle could of pulled it off, but he was dead). Second, I personally (as others may well disagree) lay a lot of the blame at the feet of the director, Michael Curtiz. Curtiz was the directorial architect of Flynn's rise to fame, because Curtiz was an expert at making adventure movies like Captain Blood. He was also an expert at classic drama (Casablanca), but the fast pace of comedy - not so much.

Anyway, a big thanks to that kind soul on YouTube. Picture quality is a little fuzzy, but it ran seamlessly. And it was free. Cool.